I so often underestimate her goodness, kindness, knowledge, love, power, and the joy that comes from following her. For over a decade I have consistently tried to cover her up and quiet her gentle, yet eternally soft call of endless strength. As I am faced to finally make choices that I have tried to deny for so long; I can see her again. I feel my heart lose some of the heaviness it has been carrying all this time. I should have followed her, steadfast, all along.
There really is a purpose for everything that happens to us, in my eyes. Everything in this Universe responds to our actions. If we begin to desire understanding, truth, and freedom, God shows it to us; little by little, as we work for it. And, sometimes we experience glorious moments, when the insight we seek unfolds all around us, all at once. By loosing sight of myself and going through the pain that comes with this drawn-out experience, I have raised the levels of compassion and love inside of my little self. I wouldn’t trade these heart growing experiences for anything.
If there is a part of you that constantly yearns to be heard, you must begin to listen so that you may experience more joy in your life. Reaching for fixes outside of ourselves will never help. We must listen to ourselves, especially, the little voices from our inner child. We can not ever really hide from who we really are and when we try, mental and physical illness will eventually come knocking; trying to coax us to face ourselves. I am going to end this post with a quote from Alice Miller, a psychologist. I have just recently started to read her works.
“The Truth about our childhood is stored up in our body, and although we can repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated, our conceptions confused, and our body tricked with medication. But someday our body will present its’ bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromise or excuses, and will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth.” Alice Miller